Before we get started, I’m trying another one of these rapid fire articles to cut down on my dithering. Let’s see how we go.
By far the most common trait that is shared by my clients is their unrelenting drive for more.
They never rest. They never feel they have done enough; achieved enough; earned enough; learned enough.
This is great in lots of ways. It has brought them money, success in business and many nice things. It is also very much rewarded in society.
But, as you can imagine -and I’m sure relate- this constant drive for more can come at a cost: to our happiness and health.
So what can we do about it?
When you go to the doctors and tell them about your sore elbow, they will give you pain killers and tell you to rest. That’s great but it does nothing to stop you getting a sore elbow in the future.
The same can happen with human behaviour. We see people who have achieved a lot and we attribute it to their work ethic and drive. We tell them to ‘relax’ and be happy with what they have.
As we all know, this doesn’t work. Why? Because we are addressing the symptom not the cause.
What I want to know is, where does the drive come from? Who has it and why? Were they born with it, or is it a bi-product of their life experiences?
Are you afflicted?
It is beyond the remit of this article to go into what can be done to address the cause -that is a deep and complex rabbit hole.
What I will do though, is present a few questions that may help you identify whether this is something that afflicts you.
*When reading these questions, I urge you to please keep an open mind. Your conscious brain may tell you everything is sweet and you’re perfectly happy with what you have but I challenge you to question that belief. After all, the symptoms are what tell the story.
How good are you taking time off to truly relax? I mean no chores, no learning, no exercise…
Have you ever achieved a goal? Did you feel good at the time? How long did you feel good for before you set yourself another, higher goal?
Would your 21 year old self be happy with what you currently have? Are you?
Do you have a vision of what ‘success’ looks like? What do you think are the chances of that line in the sand being moved as you get closer to it?
How often do people tell you to chill out and what is your response (inwardly or outwardly)?
Do you look at some people and judge them for ‘settling’?
If you have answered yes to one or more of those questions, welcome to the ‘never satisfied club’...and yes I have known to frequent such a place.
If you’re a proud member, crack on. If however you see that this mindset is costing you, or will cost you in the future, start thinking about the cause.
Let me know what you find!